Day 101 - The Most Surreal Moment
10/27/17 Day 101 of Life
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Walking out of the NICU for the very last time was the most surreal moment of my life.
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Even though I am an eternal and reckless optimist, statistics for 24 weeker twins are not glorious. This was day 101 of life and leading up to this moment, we had endured 2 neurosurgeries, 1 heart surgery, 1 hernia surgery, 3 separate brain bleeds, an infection, over 20 blood transfusions and countless respiratory ups and down. Some moments I took one day at a time; others once breath at a time. Purely for survival, I had been so focused on the present, I never imagined what discharge would look or feel like.
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Despite all of the uncertainty leading up to this very moment, it was here.
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We gathered the last of our things, said our emotional goodbyes and our family of five headed out of the coveted twin room for the final time. Once we rounded the corner to the long hall that lead to the exit, the tears I had been holding in all day waterfalled out of my eyes because of what I saw waiting at the end of the hall. The NICU team had lined up on either side of the hall to usher our twins home.
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It felt less like warriors being praised as they returned from battle and more like heavens angels saying goodbye as they sent a soul to earth to start life.
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There is something unique about the NICU staff that is different than any other hospital team. The NICU doesn’t save lives, they are giving babies a first chance at life. The NICU gives life. And that is exactly what they had done for my once 1 lb boys.
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The NICU was my surrogate womb, my twins’ guardian angels and they were the mother that I could not be during those 101 days. I should have been kissing their feet, yet, here they were honoring our family in the purest of ways. Because of this incredible NICU tribe, leaving the NICU doors for the final time did not feel like day 101 of life, it felt like a second, day one for our family.
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I will never forget the way I felt in this moment. There isn’t a word to describe the gratitude and pride I felt for the NICU team as we paraded past these angels.
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Because of this incredible team, our twins made it. They had triumphed in the smallest fight.
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