09/28/17 Day 72 of Life
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“I think your son will be able to walk,” the neurologist said as she scrolled through Lochlan’s MRI. She looked at a the carnage left behind after two separate grade IV brain bleed.
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We were 15 minutes or so into our first meeting together. My husband was at work. It was just my boys, the neurologist, faith and I. For some reason I ended up being alone during some of the most impactful moments of our NICU journey. Because I was alone, I didn’t have a crutch and had to face challenges head on. I found strength I did not know I had. This wasn’t because I wanted to, but I had felt I had no other choice.
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Based on a recent MRI of Loch’s brain, the neurologist was making predictions of how he may be impacted from his brain bleeds. The damage was limited to his right parietal and frontal lobes. Specifically the areas that affect his left side of body as well has behavior. She thought one limb would be impaired, his left side. She had some other predictions, but admittedly said she didn’t know what Lochlan would and would not be able to do down the road. We would just have to wait and see; this phrase sounded like a broken record at this point because doctors have said it so many times since birth.
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One thing I knew was what we had continually been told since day 1; no one could accurately predict where Lochlan or his twin Lex would end up developmentally or neurologically. This would reveal itself in the first few years of life. All we knew was that odds were against our 24 weeker twins.
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I did not view the neurologist’s prediction with denial, but, simultaneously, was not about to assign any assumptions to my son. She could have told me that Lochlan would never be able to sit, walk or talk and I would refuse to believe it until Lochlan told me or showed me himself. I know more than most, that miracles happen and that statistics are just numbers. Our boys continued (and continue) to surprise the specialists because they did not respond like a typical micropreemie. I welcome the term “atypical” as a term of endearment.
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There were lots of emotions after this appointment, but there was no disappointment or fear. We were prepared to help Lochlan reach his full potential and no one could predict what that looked like. We continue to do this today and watch him surpass expectations.
